Empowered by Tasting

Sunday night, I attended a 'tasting event' at the Center for Sex Positive Culture. I have to admit being increasingly nervous up to the point of actually walking into the building. I might have avoided going altogether if I hadn't already promised a few people I was going to be there...and my curiosity and excitement overpowered my anxiety only slightly.

There was a potluck beforehand and once I found the right building and room to be in, I felt more comfortable. I was approached by and introduced to a few people during the potluck and that made things even more comfortable.

Then the big moment came, it was time to go to the tasting. I walked around signing up for this or that still nervous and excited. They announced that it was time for the tastings and the tops started calling out names already. Eeek! A friend I made at the potluck pulled me back to the lockers and we both undressed to our lingerie. She had on a babydoll and I have to admit I felt a little embarrassed I hadn't thought of something like that. All I had was my bra and panties (which say: KISS THIS on the back). But I strutted back out into the main area anyway (yes I kept my heels on ;).

I have to admit, I expected more people to be just down to their underwear or even naked but most were fully clothed. I had originally only been planning to strip down if the majority of other people did as well but my new friend had been a bit of encouragement. I suppose I could have been embarrassed about it, being one of the only people (at least at first) walking around in just her underwear but something clicked in my mind and it went the other way. I found myself strutting around, smiling at everyone (and I seemed to get lots of smiles back too for some reason! lol) and just having a good time. It was warm enough in there with all the people and of course the activities.

I ended up trying flogging, spanking, violet wand, suspension bondage, floor bondage, and saran wrap bondage. It was all fun but I found myself enjoying the bondage parts the most and the other events, I felt like they just needed bondage added to them to make them more fun. =) I'm not a masochist so being flogged or spanked alone didn't do much for me...but the feeling of being helpless, tied up in ropes or saran wrap....really felt good....and imagining being flogged or spanked or tickled (etc) while being tied up, unable to move but being forced to be there and take it...that adds fuel to the feeling for me.

I had originally signed up for one of the 2 bondage stations, not realizing one could be for suspension and one could be for floor bondage. So I got on the floor bondage list a little late and was much farther down the list. As the night was getting closer to being over, I felt pretty good but I still wanted to try the floor bondage. The top doing that event looked like she was about done but she let one more girl go and she said I could be the last. She hogtied that girl and then tried to figure out what to do for me. She decided on some kind of makeshift crucification one or something. She said I would have some choices as to what positions were most comfortable and I asked her "Will I be totally helpless?" with a hopeful gleam in my eye. She smiled and said "yes mostly".

So she tied my arms to a pole, tied my left leg bent in on itself and my right leg to the same pole my arms were tied to. Then she sat back and watched and laughed as I tried to find a comfortable position. I smiled and struggled at the bonds. I moved around in all kinds of positions and found myself a bit helpless at times. =) She helped me once move back to a certain position but I soon found myself back in that helpless position. A few people came over and watched and laughed and egged me on and I just smiled and giggled and struggled.

At some point, I started to get free and with a lot more work and time, I was able to break free completely. Not that I wanted to! haha. The top that tied me up commented by saying "You didn't tell me you were an escape artist" and I laughed. In reality, I just enjoyed feeling helpless with an audience and isn't a part of being truly helpless, struggling? It was fun and hot. Probably my favorite part of the whole night.
I drove home that night feeling very happy for some reason....almost empowered. I almost wanted to celebrate somehow. I had discovered more of this side of me and it felt good. Although it opened up more questions too. I felt like "Wow, I could really enjoy a rope-play-party" but at the same time, I'm unsure of my sexual limits and yet a part of rope-play I definitely want to experience at some point will be the sexual additions to it. But I still see the ultimate pleasure of it being with that one true special person for me and him alone.

Deep Throat Fantasy

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Little girl vs. Experienced Woman

My mind and heart have been at arms over the last 24 hours or so. I recently met with a guy who I now call Daddy and we had our first date. It was my first experience of any kind of D/s relationship intermingled with the beginnings of hopefully a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.
The date involved both conversing as equals and being Daddy's little girl. I have to admit it's hard for me to draw up where the boundaries were for the date exactly…sometimes I felt like his little girl and other times I felt like he was a man I was very interested in for a boyfriend. These two separate dynamics during the date played different tunes in my heart, even afterward.
Daddy said he wouldn't leave me and the little girl inside of me believed him with every ounce of her strength but the logic of a grown woman hung heavy over that, knowing this was merely a first date and that sometimes grownups make promises to children, they can't keep. The woman in me was aghast at how attached the little girl in me had become already. While the little girl clinged lovingly to Daddy with eyes full of love, the woman inside remembered the heartache caused by many a man. She had gotten her hopes up so many times only to have her heart dashed upon the rocks over and over.
Along the same lines, hours after the date and even the next day, I found the little girl in me wanting so bad to text Daddy, to talk to him, to see him…but the woman in me knew that would come off as clingy and she didn't want to spoil things.
Its just so foreign to me to feel like there are separate sides of me like this and watching how they struggle with each other when trying to find not just a Daddy/Dom but a boyfriend too. The little girl in me feels so safe with Daddy…already….and yet the grown woman knows he could up and leave without a moment's notice…because it's only been a first date.
Maybe the two will better juxtapose when the vanilla part of the relationship can be established and therefore come in-line with where the D/s relationship already seems to be...ironically, lightyears ahead.