I've had some discussion about aftercare with a couple different people lately and wanted to further write about it on my own.
First off, I have yet to experience a real scene. I've only experienced some bondage play and a few things at a tasting event up to this point. That being said, I have a distinct idea in my mind of aftercare and what it means to me and why I need it.
I am imagining going through an intense scene with my partner who is more than just my Dom but also my boyfriend. He has a need to take out his aggression, his dominance, on me, my body, my emotions, my heart, my soul. The scene could of course be different from time to time but I'm imagining feeling pain, pleasure, helplessness maybe to the point of ecstacy and/or pain tolerance limits...a very heightened state, whatever it is. Part of it is a need to feel pain to feel helpless and part of it is a need to please my daddy.
When it is finished, I can feel myself in such a scene, needing to be held, cuddled, comforted, consoled, loved....audibly, physically, emotionally. I can imagine him trying to express his love for me and his pride that I could do all of that for him and his pleasure/gratefulness in it all.
It goes back to something I told someone else recently as well: "I need to be fucked, abused, used, yet still loved". I need it all for some reason, some mix of that. There's a mix of emotional and sexual needs involved.
The sex/play without the love or emotions does not entice me quite the same and the love/emotions/romance does not entice me the way it used to...alone. I need both of those so very much from that someone I would call Daddy, Dom, Boyfriend, Master, partner.
Does anyone else relate to this?