I wasn't sure if I was going to write about this experience or not. Really, there isn't too much to tell but it's still worth mentioning.
Sunday, I attended the Rope Enthusiasts Group at the Center. it was my second time to that event and so I felt fairly comfortable and I wore my new "Rope Slut" tank top. That alone was exciting. =) I arrived and greeted a few folks that I had met at previous events. I also met some new people that I had only spoken with online before that. One of the girls there asked me if I'd be willing to bottom for her and her partner as he showed her how to tie a box tie. I of course readily obliged.
That itself actually took probably around 20 or 30 minutes because she re did it a few times and had him do it the first time as well. I didn't mind at all though. =) After that, I ended up socializing a bunch but for some reason I felt a shy streak. There were lots of people around, many getting tied up but many were not and yet I couldn't walk up to any of them and ask if they needed a rope bottom for anything? It was kind of odd.
I suppose I worry that if I continue to be so extra-willing to be tied up and very verbal about it (online and at events) that maybe people will decide I'm merely a "whiner" or "needy" or something. I really don't want to give off that impression at all.
And so, I ended up conversing with people and I didn't end up getting tied up again. My friend, P got tied up a few times though and she was flying high. When REG ended, and we headed out, I was at an all time low. I felt disappointed with myself for not being more aggressive and it caused feelings of melancholy and despondency.
I knew we were going to another rope event later that day but I couldn't quite bring myself out of that depressed cloud of anguish. We went to lunch and I was able to talk some to get my mind on other things such that by the time we got to Wild At Heart for Suspended Animation's "How to tie" class, I was feeling a little better.
We walked in and a guy passed out rope to all of us. At first, I declined and said I was P's bottom for this event and he said that everyone should have a piece of rope anyway. I reluctantly took one and we all sat down shortly after that.
One of the rope tops presenting had helped tie me up at my first play party, Bondage is the Point and P had also mentioned to him at some point that I was willing to stunt bottom for this class if it was needed. So both Rope tops approached me before the class actually started and asked if I'd like to volunteer periodically throughout the class and that it would probably involve some "D/s, like hair pulling". My heart skipped a beat and I smiled and said "of course!" =)
So they started talking and showing us a few different ways to tie certain body parts or objects. They showed us 1 column ties, 2 column ties as well as a tie that could be used on an object that wasn't a body part (like tying a wrist to a bedpost). I was surprised to find that I could do all of these fairly easily. I did it on myself some and on P some but she eventually started tying me in places.At one point she had one of my ankles tied to one chair and another to another chair and then the guy next to me tied my wrists to another chair. Weeee that was fun. =)
The first time they wanted me to come up front to volunteer, they merely tied my wrists together in front of me. He had me hold my wrists about a fist apart and so they werent very tight at first. Then he started frapping and they got tighter and I immediately felt more secure. The top commented to the class that as soon as he started frapping, he felt my body temperature rise. Wow he could read me like a book.
He untied me and had me sit down and everyone was trying ties here and there an they were going around to everyone to help them. P wanted to tie me more and I let her mostly but I found myself worried that they'd need me to volunteer again and yet I wouldn't be ready so they'd pick someone else! Lol, I'm such a freak sometimes. Here was P trying to tie me up and I wanted to make sure I was available to be tied in front of the class. I suppose there's a bit of my exhibition streak right there. ;)
Finally it came time for me to volunteer again up front and this time, he tied my wrists behind me. I felt much more restrained and secure and peaceful and I knew something more was going to happen this time. The next few minutes are kind of a blur. I think he took me by the hair and lowered me to my knees carefully where he tied my ankles to my thighs. He made various comments about how I was "settling in" to that headspace and about my body temperature rising again. He took me by the hair again and pushed me to my knees such that only my knees were touching the ground (ankles tied to my thighs) and he was only or mostly holding me by my hair.
It was a little of a balancing act but I was partially lost in the moment. He held my hair very tight, tighter than it's ever been held/pulled. I was facing the class and yet I saw none of them....I was in my own headspace at that moment in time. And it felt so peaceful, secure, mellow. This is what I had wanted to feel that day and why I had been so depressed that REG had not panned out for me.
I still surprise myself that when I'm in moments like that...the feelings are not at all sexual. I've equated it with a different feeling, a need of the soul. And yet hours or days later, I'll think back to that moment in time at what was happening to me and become extremely turned on. And I may or may not daydream about things that didn't happen *cough* but um yeah.
He then carefully let me lay on the floor and he untied my legs and then they demonstrated what to do when a sub was struggling and you had to get her out of the ropes fast. So I mock-struggled a bunch, face down with my hands still tied behind my back and one of the tops talked about how you don't want to use a knife because this weird red stuff can appear and get everywhere and we all laughed. He showed us some scissors/shears that were good for getting rope off fast in like an emergency or something.
They finally untied my wrists and I was free again and I still felt good. Often when someone unties me, I feel sad or down but if I've been in it long enough and/or the situation has been intense enough, I end up on a high and happy as can be. And that's how I was for the rest of the day.
So the day started out not so great but ended awfully nice. =)